Back in the Studio
It's hard to believe it's been two months since Soul of the Sea opened at Arcadia Gallery in Portrush. It feels like yesterday that I was walking into the gallery each morning, surrounded by paintings that had lived in my studio for months, and wondering who would come through the door and, more importantly, what they would think.
The response was incredible. Far beyond anything I had imagined for my first exhibition. The kind words, the conversations, the people who connected with a particular painting and, of course, seeing some of those paintings leave with their new owners was an experience I'll never forget.
And then, quite suddenly, it was over.
So, what happens after your first exhibition?
That's something I hadn't really thought about.
You spend months working towards something, building up to the opening, worrying about whether anyone will come, whether they'll like your work, whether you've made enough paintings, whether you've made the right paintings… and then suddenly you're standing in an empty gallery with a few blank walls and thinking, "Well, what do I do now?"
I have to admit, the last couple of months have been a bit of a rollercoaster.
There was the high of the exhibition, followed by a definite feeling of overwhelm. I've also had a pretty good dose of imposter syndrome. That little voice that tells you perhaps you got lucky, perhaps people were just being kind, perhaps you're not really an artist at all and someone is going to find you out at any moment.
I suspect I'm not the only one who experiences that feeling.
I've had to remind myself that Soul of the Sea wasn't just a lucky moment. I created those paintings. I put them on the walls. People came to see them and connected with them enough to want to take them home.
That's real.
I'm learning that confidence doesn't necessarily arrive because something goes well. Sometimes you have to deliberately remind yourself of what you've already achieved and then keep going anyway.
Back to the things that make me happy
So I've done what I usually do when my head gets a little too busy.
I've gone back to the sea.
My swims have become part of my routine again, and there is something about getting into that cold North Coast water that seems to reset everything. It gives me space to think, or sometimes, more importantly, space to think about absolutely nothing.
The sea has always been at the heart of my work. I don't paint what the ocean looks like, I paint how it makes me feel. The movement, the power, the energy, the calm after a storm and that feeling of being completely insignificant when you're standing beside something so vast.
Coming back to the sea has helped me come back to the studio too.
And there is plenty happening in there.
I'm currently working on several commissions, which I am incredibly grateful for. I love the fact that someone can see something in my work and trust me enough to create an original painting specifically for them. There's a different kind of connection in a commission because you know from the very beginning that the finished piece is going to have a particular home and a particular person waiting for it.
I'm also sketching and experimenting with ideas for my next series, Permission to Shine.
If you read my first blog about Soul of the Sea, you'll know that Permission to Shine was the name of the painting I created in memory of my sister Bernadette. It was never intended for sale and now hangs with her family in Scotland, overlooking the sea in North Berwick.
The new series isn't about recreating that painting. It's about taking the meaning behind it and exploring it in a much bigger way. I'm thinking about light, energy, strength, confidence and that moment when you finally give yourself permission to be seen.
It's still very much at the messy, sketchy, "I'm not quite sure where this is going yet" stage, but that's often where the most exciting ideas start.
A new home for Emma J Art
I've also spent a ridiculous amount of time recently building a new website.
I've moved Emma J Art over to Shopify and I'm really pleased with the result. It feels cleaner, simpler and much more like the brand I'm trying to build around my paintings.
But the thing I've enjoyed most has nothing to do with building the website.
It's seeing photos from some of my early collectors showing me their paintings in their homes.
That really gets me.
A painting can spend weeks or months sitting in my studio while I stare at it, move it around, change something, change it back again and wonder whether I've completely lost the plot. Then one day it leaves me and becomes part of someone else's home.
Seeing it hanging on their wall, in a space that is completely different from my studio, is a lovely reminder of why I do this.
I'm not just making paintings.
I'm making something that someone has chosen to live with.
And I don't think I'll ever take that for granted.
Looking towards Christmas and beyond
The other thing I've been thinking about is what I want the next few months to look like.
I'm deliberately trying not to put too much pressure on myself to have everything mapped out. This whole journey has been a lesson in taking the next step rather than trying to predict exactly where I'll end up.
For now, that means painting, swimming, experimenting, taking on commissions and slowly developing Permission to Shine.
I am also opening up a limited number of commission spaces between now and Christmas. If you've been thinking about having an original Emma J Art painting created especially for your home, or perhaps you're looking for something very personal for someone special, I'd love to hear from you. Commission spaces are limited simply because I want to make sure I have the time to give each painting the attention it deserves.
There are also still a number of original paintings available in the online store, including some pieces from Soul of the Sea.
You can take a look at the new website here: www.emmajart.co.uk
And if you're on Instagram, I'd love you to come and follow along there too. That's where I tend to share the day-to-day version of this journey, the paintings in progress, studio chaos, sea swims, new ideas and the occasional painting that refuses to behave itself.
Two months on from Soul of the Sea, I don't have everything figured out. I still have moments when I wonder whether I'm really doing this.
But I am doing it.
I'm back in the studio, I'm back in the sea, and I'm already excited about what's coming next.
And maybe that's enough.
Emma x
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